Archive for July, 2007

A new understanding of my confusion

July 29, 2007

Finding my spiritual path is not easy. What I know, or think I know, about the imminent and transcendent, is always a major influence on my thinking, but somehow I need to loosen my grip on my subjective projections onto everything, and try to elevate my thoughts and experiences to a different level. I need to embrace my ignorance positively, and not succumb to the chaos of agnosis.

The transition from a belief system that depends heavily upon correct understanding in order to gain admittance into the spiritual realms, to a place of uncertainty, is not an easy transition to make. It has taken me a few years to truly let go of my old beliefs, mostly because of fear of the consequence of being eternally separated from God. I found myself in a scriptural paradox that required me to trust I had the answers, while simultaneously maintaining that I was finite and incapable of knowing what they actually are1.

Knowing the answers to life, the universe and everything is of secondary importance to me now. What’s important is love, goodness, truth, and so on, that transcend the mechanics of the universe and it’s incomprehensible power source.

I still want to know the answers to the so-called big questions, but I’m no longer a follower of the path of Knowledge. We cannot know everything, but knowledge can be one among many tools and guides to lead us. Keep searching, but let the god’s, god/dess or the universe keep its unfathomable secrets. If you are due some enlightenment you will get it, and if not it’s not a problem. Don’t stress it.

In Broken Images

He is quick, thinking in clear images;
I am slow, thinking in broken images.

He becomes dull, trusting to his clear images;
I become sharp, mistrusting my broken images,

Trusting his images, he assumes their relevance;
Mistrusting my images, I question their relevance.

Assuming their relevance, he assumes the fact,
Questioning their relevance, I question the fact.

When the fact fails him, he questions his senses;
When the fact fails me, I approve my senses.

He continues quick and dull in his clear images;
I continue slow and sharp in my broken images.

He in a new confusion of his understanding;
I in a new understanding of my confusion.

Robert Graves

  1. 1) In the Christian tradition, I understand that the Spirit is meant to guide us into all truth, but you still need to trust your own reasoning to believe that. It all comes back to your own capacity for truth and knowledge (Back).

The Pagan Inquisition (Questions about Paganism for Pagans)

July 24, 2007

Questions for Pagans

Ever since I was a teenager (I’m hitting 33 now), when I began thinking about religion, I was also very much entranced by nature, but I never really made the connection. Eventually I became a Christian.

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Now I’m an ex-Christian who is seriously thinking about becoming a Pagan. I have so many questions for anyone willing to share their wisdom, faith and beliefs. I’m not asking everyone to answer all my questions, but if you feel you have something to share with me that might be helpful please don’t hesitate.

Paganism appeals to me on a few levels. I feel a connection with nature. I am suspicious of revelation handed down throughout the ages in written form. I am passionate about mythology, which has given me some second hand insight into Paganism. I feel that the truths of the universe, the real salvation style questions, are no longer important to me, and I believe that Paganism doesn’t place such emphasis on this kind of thing.

Links to helpful websites would also be great, especially blog entries where you might answer any of the questions below, and provide me with some insight into your experiences.

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Choosing a Paganism

Is it OK you be just a ‘Pagan?’

As I understanding it is is an umbrella term used much in the same way as ‘Hinduism’ is used to represent a whole range of different beliefs and practices?

If so, is choosing a specific Pagan path essential?

Nature affirming Pagan

Are you a Pagan because you are drawn or feel a connection with nature?

Do city dwelling Pagans find it difficult to practice in the City?

Living with a community of Pagans

Is it easy finding a community of like-minded Pagans?

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Are there any local Pagan communities where you live, and was it easy to integrate into your community? Perhaps it took a while to find a community that met your needs?

Do you find your community to be a group of loving people who deeply care for others, esp’ outcasts in society?

Is there a kind of leadership? Or are some members considered to be more authoritative than others without any rigid kind of leadership structure.

Is everyone encouraged to play an active role in the community, and look after those members that need more care and attention?

Perhaps you are a solitary Pagan, or your only connecting with Pagans on the internet, how does that work for you?

How do non-Pagans react upon learning you are Pagan?

Pagan Rituals

What is the most basic form of ritual in your Pagan tradition?

How do rituals play a part in your form of Paganism?

If you didn’t practice rituals would you be considered non-Pagan?

Can rituals be a guiding influence both inside and outside of the community?

Do Rituals have a transformative effect on you as an individual and as a group, and can ritual “break through’ to the otherworld, another realm or reality?

Have you ever met anyone, or heard about, anyone become mentally ill by participating in a Ritual.

Can ritual be in any other way dangerous?

Pagan ‘gods’

How do Pagan ‘gods’ have an active role in your life?

Do some pagans create their own gods?

Finally

Are there any more worthwhile things I might need to know?

Veertepo and Creation (Part One)

July 20, 2007

Part one of a creation myth belonging to the fantasy world of Cortexia. Written and created by Mahud. Although this myth is Therazian, it has it’s origins in the mythical lore of the Nehar-Shahar. It is believed that this myth was transmitted to the Therasians via the Island of Moffia, who, according to legend, learned the creation story from Gavroc, the first of the Nehar-Khan. The Moffia, however, tell the story a little differently.

One night, the High Goddess Magnar told her husband Gnarma that she wished to create something new. A world full of living creatures, that could enjoy all the wonderful things that they themselves enjoyed. Magnar, thought this was a good idea, but suggested that she should ask the artisan Sun to create it for her, because she had no experience in these matters. Magnar objected, because she was every bit as skilled as Sun. She herself had created many of the wonderful lands in the realm of sky. “That is so,” replied Gnarma, “you create it then, but you have never created a living being, only I can do that.” Again Magnar objected, “I have created my son Veertepo, and he was born long before we first joined together in love.”

“Then let him be ruler of your new world then,” said Gnarma, “but I will create life!” Magnar liked the idea of her son as king of her new world, and so she agreed.

Gnarma had no intention of letting his wife create a new world, nor allow her son Veertepo to be king. Although Veertepo, with his blue eyes and golden hair was as handsome as his mother was beautiful, he was not yet wise enough to be a King. Also there were rumours that when Magnar first gave birth to her child he was ugly and covered in thick red hair from head to foot. To cure her child of his ugliness, she had Otu, the daughter of Sun, create a potion, and bathed the new born child in her gigantic cauldron until he was transformed. “How can I allow my wife to create such monstrous beings,” Gnarma thought!

Later, as the Goddess slept, Gnarma slipped quietly out of their bed, put on his dark blue tunic, picked up his silver staff, and went to find Sun. Sun’s hut was difficult to find, but with the light of the Silver staff to guide him, Gnarma eventually found himself standing before the door of Sun’s modest dwelling. He knocked three times with his staff before Otu finally answered. “Father is asleep, my lord,” she said, “I hope all is well with both you and the lady?” Otu invited Him in, and went to tell her father they had a visitor.

After Gnarma had told Sun everything, he agreed to help create the new world that very night as the Goddess slept. “In the morning, I will Kill Veertepo, take Magnar’s cauldron, and use it to create living beings, ” Gnarma said. Sun was not entirely happy with this arrangement. He loved the Goddess greatly and Veertepo was like a son to him, but he could not go against the wishes of the High God. He himself had fashioned the great cauldron and gave it to the queen, as a token of his affection. Sun whispered to his daughter to go swiftly and wake the Goddess up, before the situation got out of hand.

Otu soon found her way to the palace of sky. She crept through the window of the royal chamber and lightly tugged on the Great Goddess’s gown of night. “Wake up my lady, your husband has betrayed you.”

Magnar screamed and was about to fly out of the window and put an end to her husband, when Otu, afraid that Magnar might kill her father as well, grasped her lady by the ankles and said, “Have mercy my lady, I have a plan that will both save your child and put an end to your husband’s wickedness for ever!”

“Take this black stone and hang it around your son’s neck. It will act as a talisman against this deadly poison that Veertepo must drink if he is to stay alive. When my father has created the new world, your husband will return, kill Veertepo and claim your cauldron as his own. When Gnarma sends for your boy, I believe he will crush his head as he kisses his royal thigh. In that moment Veertepo must bite deep into his stepfather’s thigh. The poison will not be enough to kill a high god, but he will be paralyzed with pain, and yours to control as you wish.”

Magnar was pleased with this plan, and promised Otu that she and Veertepo would rule over the new world together as husband and wife. The Goddess went back to sleep and Otu smiled.

Sun was a skilled craftsman, and soon enough, the new world was ready to be placed in the furnace. Otu was still not back, and so he requested that he and Gnarma take a break. The High god had grown suspicious because of Otu’s absence, and refused Sun’s request until the new world was properly forged. When the work was complete Gnarma carried it back to his palace. It was still night, and so he decided to steal the cauldron first and begin his work, and kill Veertepo first thing in the morning.

with great difficulty Gnarma carried the cauldron upon his back into the royal throne room. He gathered together the secret ingredients according to the recipe of life and cooked them in the bubbling cauldron. Soon the smell reached the nostrils of the Goddess and she sent Otu to wake Veertepo. Otu told Veertepo what he must do to stay alive, and as daylight approached she returned to her father’s dwelling. Veertepo hung the black talisman around his neck and drank the poison, just in time to hear his stepfather summon him.

As Veertepo entered the throne room he saw his mother’s cauldron gently simmering. As he passed by he glanced inside and saw what appeared to be a god and a goddess in a beautiful garden, surrounded by a multitude of living creatures. He knelt down before his stepfather’s throne and went to kiss his thigh and bit down hard until he could taste the bone. Magnar cried out, “Scorpion!”, tossing Veertepo into the cauldron, before the paralyzing poison had it’s effect.

Veertepo entered the new world not as king, but rather as the yellow scorpion, that would become known among the tribes as the most deadly and despised of creatures, identified by a black mark on its belly.

To be continued…

C.S. Lewis’s Concept of “Joy”

July 19, 2007

Is anyone familiar with what C.S Lewis terms Joy, or Sehnsucht (German: Longing)? Have you ever experienced it, and what evoked the experience?

I plan on writing a fuller explanation of C.S Lewis’s definition of ‘Joy’ in a future post, for anyone who may be unfamiliar with the concept, and provide a few personal encounters of ‘Joy’, though movies, music and even video games.

But for now I’d like to share a piece of music that invokes (for myself) simultaneously feelings of both pleasure and grief, and a desire for something ‘other’, that is just within my reach, but cannot grasp.

I relate to this song in a big way.

YouTube: Joy Division (Atmosphere)

Joy Division: Atmosphere (lyrics)

Walk in silence,
Don’t walk away, in silence.
See the danger,
Always danger,
Endless talking,
Life rebuilding,
Don’t walk away.

Walk in silence,
Don’t turn away, in silence.
Your confusion,
My illusion,
Worn like a mask of self-hate,
Confronts and then dies.
Don’t walk away.

People like you find it easy,
Naked to see,
Walking on air.
Hunting by the rivers,
Through the streets,
Every corner abandoned too soon,
Set down with due care.
Don’t walk away in silence,
Don’t walk away.

My Meditative Journey So Far (Learning Meditation)

July 16, 2007

Since, looking at Religion from a New Perspective, I have been figuring out how how to meditate.

I’ve been aware of the connection between dream and myth symbols for a while now, but I’ve only recently made the connection between myth and visualization, specifically through meditation.

Personal Mythology and Self-Identity

We all create our own myths or stories about ourselves. Myths tells who we are and where we are, and the give our lives meaning. It’s important to have a healthy personal mythology. For the past fifteen years my personal mythology has been completely the opposite.

I want to use Meditation to begin a new chapter of my own personal myth, perhaps even trash all previous chapters and start the story again from the beginning, using visual meditation as the key to my inner self. I’m not sure if I need to escape my prison or just transport myself beyond my prison walls, and take it from there.

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Learning to Meditate

I find visualization simple enough, it’s moving around in my imaginative landscape I find difficult, esp if the meditation is being guided. Too much going on at once makes me loose the mental image. So before I can begin my visualizations I’m focusing on some simple meditation exercises.

I also need to find my meditation posture. It would be cool to do the cross-legged full lotus thing, or even a half lotus, but my legs can’t take the pressure. I find it impossible to get comfortable and relaxed. I came across an article a while ago called, A Druid Meditation Primer, which suggests using a chair, and I really like that idea.

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I also discovered another article from Wildmind, a site devoted to Buddhist meditation, that also recommends Meditating sitting in a chair.

I’m a tall chap, so I need to place a cushion on my seat so I can keep my legs comfortably straight. To enable my arms and shoulders to relax, I rest my arms on a second cushion on my lap. Wildmind also recommends that the back of the chair be slightly elevated, and so I’ve placed a couple of coffee mug mats under the rear chair legs.

I find that this position works for me.

How you sit is not really that important, but you should keep your spine as straight as possible and be relaxed.

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Meditation Exercise

Breathing is another important aspect of meditation. Doctors and Therapists recommend breathing exercises to people (like me) who suffer from anxiety, And it really helps to calm both the mind and the body.

Before I sit down to meditate, I set my alarm for twenty minutes and 30 seconds, using the half minute to get into position.

The meditation exercise I’m using comes from The Blooming Lotus written by a Vietnamese Buddhist Monk called Thich Nhat Hanh.

It consists of two stages

Stage One

  1. Breathe In (Calm Body)
  2. Breathe out (Smile)

Stage Two

  1. Breathe In (Live in the Present Moment)
  2. Breathe out (It is a Wonderful Moment)

My mind likes to wander all over the place, and I mix up the order a bit, and start smiling when I’m breathing in, etc, but the more I allow myself to focus on the meditation, the easier it becomes.

I’ve also experimented meditating to music. I have a 73 minute instrumental complete with vocal mantra called Breath of Odin by Julian Cope, which makes things kinda interesting.

That’s my meditative journey so far 😀

I want my blog to be relevant to others…but it isn’t happening.

July 15, 2007

I have been neglecting the central theme of this blog for a little while. Mostly, I think that visitors don’t really know where I’m coming from and don’t know much about comparative mythology, or just thinks I’m nuts, plus I also think that mythology doesn’t really have much of a target audience on the internet.

As I state on my about page:

The focus of this blog is upon mythological traditions concerning the dying and rising god, or as Wikipedia terms it, a Life-death-rebirth deity, also referred to as a Pagan Godman, or Pagan Christ. I usually use the term Mythological Victim, because often he is not presented as a god, on occasion is actually female, doesn’t always rise from the dead, and is Pre-Christian.

My my goal is to study as many mythological traditions as possible and disclose the symbolic threads of meaning focusing primarily with the ‘death and rebirth deity.’

I’ve been working on variations of the site for three years, and hardly anyone has shown any interest, so perhaps I’m wasting my time. Either I continue with what I’m passionate about, perhaps, trying to make the content more visitor friendly.

I need some kind of strategy, to make this blog work. This may involve cleaning up some of my articles, that don’t really fit what the blog is about, and remove spiritual and religious experiences on to another blog.

I need to figure out a new approach to my blogging.

Anyway, just a few problems that needs to be addressed.

Any advice or feedback would be appreciated.

It may well be that my disappointment that I can’t make my blog work work, or appear interesting (and the fact that I’m much of a conversationalist in the comments area, despite my painful best effects has something to do with in)

Perhaps I just need to quit blogging altogether 😦

Religion After Christianity?

July 9, 2007

I became a Christian around the age of twenty-one. My life before Jesus was not unlike many other Christians-to-be, whose testimonies you might of heard. I was very much a sinner. I cared about others, but I also placed my needs and desires above everyone else.

Christianity was there when I needed it

I took a lot of drugs and my life was falling apart, I was on the verge of becoming homeless, and I was a prisoner of my own messed up circumstances and very lost. My life was meaningless.

In my desperation for a normal life, I turned to Christianity. For people like me, without any religious education, whose lives have become an entangled mess, without any way of release, it was the perfect choice at the time.

The gospel is about setting us free from our past so we can move on with our future

Two important verses from the Old and New Testaments sum up what Jesus means to me. The first is a prophecy of Isaiah, that Jesus read aloud at the synagogue in his hometown of Nazareth, that Jesus believed was fulfilled in him.

The Spirit of the Lord is on me,
because he has anointed me
to preach good news to the poor.
He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners
and recovery of sight for the blind,
to release the oppressed,
to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor.
Luke 4:8-18 (Jesus quoting Isaiah 61:1,2)

The second verse was a response to the Pharisees, who objected to his hanging out with ‘sinners’ and eating with them.

It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners… …Today this scripture is fulfilled in your hearing
Mark 2:17

Jesus very much saw his mission from God as the fulfillment of Jewish Prophecy. And it was a mission to set people free from their sins. Primarily, I think the people Jesus had in mind were prisoners of circumstances out of their control, and not so much people who were outside this circle of despair.

I can related to that. I needed Jesus, because I had transgressed my better nature, and wanted to be transformed back into the person I once was, and for the greater part it worked. I no longer willfully steal and cheat my friends, or my family. I want to live by a principle of love, and I owe this to Jesus. He had pointed me in the right direction.

Thank You Jesus, I need to move on, but where do I go?

Over the past few years my understanding of Christianity has changed radically, and I no longer believe that Christianity is the right religion for me. I am reluctant to read the Bible, because it makes me uncomfortable, and I cannot reconcile what I know about the true origins of scripture, with what the scriptures themselves claim. And yet, I still need to be transformed and set free from a lot of psychological crap.

And so I’m faced with a dilemma. Is there religion after Christianity? I’m unable to swap one tradition for another. Trading the Bible for another Holy Book, or believe another ‘god’, cosmology, or concept of an afterlife. All religions are false in a way, despite their power to transform us into better individuals. And so I was in a bit of a bind.

Looking at Religion from a New Perspective

I live bookmarked Jeff Lilly’s (druid journal) series How to Choose a Religion, last week, as part of some research I was working on in for my previous post A New Mythology. And I had a bit of an eureka moment:

It makes no sense to ask whether a religion is true! Instead, ask yourself what you’re going to use the religion for. Different religions are better at different things.
How to Choose a Religion VII: Languages of Spirit (Druid Journal)

It’s really so obvious, but I hadn’t made the connection between choosing a religion based on my own personal needs. I have been approaching the problem the wrong way. I thought I needed to choose the Right Religion, not the religion that’s Right for me! This is indeed a revelation to me!

So I need to choose a religion that will address my needs, but which one, I wondered? I looked for one of those online quiz things, as I thought that might help, but I couldn’t find anything that asked the right questions, and then it struck me. Recently, I have been drawn towards meditation, but I hadn’t pursued it much. But that’s definitely what I should be focusing on right now. My mind is still full of a lot of crap from my past that haunts me. I suffer from SA, my mind is constantly restless, and I often find myself fretting about some problem, big or small, real or imaginary. And so a religious tradition that emphasizes meditative practice is definitely the religion for me.

Mental (and hopefully spiritual) Transformation through Meditation

Of course, there exists a wide variety of different forms of meditation, from just about every religion, and so I have quite a bit of research ahead of me. Buddhism has always appealed to me. I’m drawn to the idea of mindfulness and karmic fruitfulness, although I’m not really attracted by Buddhist cosmology, the doctrine of Anatta (no-self), and Nirvana, but what ever form of meditation I engage in, I’ll be putting the bigger cosmical aspects on the shelf, and focus within, and see where things take me.

A New Mythology

July 6, 2007

The Nature of Mythology according to Joseph Campbell

A Myth, as Joseph Campbell understood it, is a symbolic communicator, that attempts to translate the universal mystery of existence, that cannot be consciously understood . A Mythology is like a series of sign posts, that direct us through this cosmic mystery, which is also the mystery of our own existence. Mythology is a product of the sub-conscious, which in turn, is the product of the underlying cause of all things, and so creation myths and end of the world myths, are directly linked with our own existence and mortality.

Life Death and Transformation

In between we have Transformation Myths, the shaping of the world (such as Australian myths of the Rainbow Serpent), social order (Such as the revelation of God’s eternal Law from Mount. Sinai), the death and rebirth of a god (Such as the Christian Myth), seasonal rites of passage (like the Winter and Summer Solstice), and so on.

This is also the basis of Campbell’s Hero’s Journey, influenced by Arnold Van Gennep’s three ritual stages:

  1. Separation from Community
  2. Liminal-Transitional Stage
  3. Reincorporation into Community

The problem with ‘Historical’ Myths

The inevitable problem arises when we translate our internal myths into cosmic and cultural (ethical) myths: They become historical ‘facts’, even more so when enshrined in religious texts. Joseph Campbell believed (and I agree), that we need to let go of our outdated ‘historical’ mythologies, as they no longer fit our modern understanding of humanity, planet earth, and outer space, yet, at the same time, we still need to realize that both our internal and external realities are foundationally one reality, without any fixed boundaries (or at least none that we can fully grasp).

The Modern Need for a Boundless Mythology

We no longer have definitive answers to life’s big questions, and we need a mythology that accepts that. For many of us who grew up without any rigid religious structure that is designed to guide us safely through life’s dilemmas, we have been thrown in at the deep end, without being taught how to swim. And this is why so many people are so screwed up. They haven’t been properly integrated into the limitless possibilities of modern society. Instead, life is not limitless, just meaningless.

Innovation within Religious Tradition

Campbell acknowledged that it is unlikely that we would ever achieve a unified global mythology, but I see no reason why we need to. And why must we entirely scrap our traditional mythologies? We have a rich variety of validated religious expressions, built upon thousands of years individual and collective experience, which surely must count for something! We just need to bring our mythologies up to date, and allow our spiritual expressions to retain a certain fluidity, so that we can retain a ‘New Mythology’ through a natural process of continual innovation.

And this is exactly what many religious practitioners are doing, although some religions, such as Wicca and Neo-Paganism (I’ve recently been discovering), are more adaptive to new ideas, then say for example Christianity, which has to somehow transcend the historical myths of the Old and New Testaments, without losing its power to transform lives.

Modern Myth Makers and Creative Mediums

We are all potential Myth Makers (spiritual innovators), I think. We all have to live out our own personal myths, even if we are not part of a religious community, and we can share our experiences with others through different creative mediums, such as Film.

All storytelling is a way to transmit mythic (life-death-transformative) experiences. And it may well be that the power of the myth lies in its ability to temporarily transport us (using Arnold Van Gennep’s model) out of ourselves and our community into a state of mythical identification with the Heroes of myth (who themselves venture into the realms of the unknown that is identifiable with our modern conception of reality), to be transformed into the person he or she is meant to be along the boundless paths of their journey, and from each adventure, returning back to the community from which he or she came with another fresh expression of transforming power.